How To Get Over A Boy
I'm not most people; I haven't had that chance of a "One time only" pretty little Fairy Tale thing. Perhaps your different, maybe all your relationships have been free of heartbreak, if so congratulations, it must be nice. Me? Well, my heart's very much been a chessboard, making moves and losing out.
I'm also fully aware of how these short stories can play out; they can affect our whole dam book if we let them, including the ending.
I know it's tough for you right now, but you're going to have to trust me. The positive is that you are still here, present and pushing through. It might not feel like it at this precise moment, but you are.
Our allies come in many guises, and the answers to your questions will always find you, thankfully It’s what led you right here to me, and the only blog post your ever going to need to read on the subject.
If they say, it's good to talk about it. Let's do just that, talk it all out, right here right now...
Heartbreak Hotel
Chapter 1:
let me guess; you want very much right now, for the world to disappear? You should be happy and your not. Good people don't deserve to be here, having to feel all that hurt and pain. I've been there where you are, experiencing a love that once made us feel invincible, only to end up with heartbreak and all kinds of negative mojo.
They say a break-up can almost feel like a death, well if it's death, having them remain in your life, but no longer being a part of it feels very much like a resurrection.
Our break-up stories are all different, maybe it's a result of a toxic relationship, getting dumped out of the blue, or perhaps they were never that into you, needless to say, it still all hurts the same.
A while ago, forever ago, I found myself in a situation, of the Toxic variety. I lost heaven to hell and had to endure heartbreak and head trauma.
I couldn't just expel this boy from my life, because he got inside my head and broke my foolish heart. I can remember thinking at the time, "I really can't breathe here." It feels like the world stopped, but it didn't, it kept turning. All the while desperately searching for that soft spot to land.
Things get worse before they get better, but get better they will.
“Those Shitty Weeks”
Chapter 2:
Heres to nobody crying today, am I being premature? Having to wake up with that dull aching feeling. Missing the only person you thought got you.
Let me tell you; I cried that much I thought I was going to die from dehydration.
Friends and outdoors activities are only going to fill up so much of your time. Prepare yourself for that silence of the nothing that seems to last forever, and it will come to call. Don't worry; you'll have enough company, old text messages to taunt you and all those sad, sad love songs. All there, to remind you of what you lost.
These first two volumes of your life will be by far the hardest; I'm sorry kiddo, this is going to be tough, but you are going to have to trust me.
I went through all the stages, from crying to that rage spiral. I took it out on myself because I didn't think at the time I was enough.
You're going to have to feel all of these types of emotions, but let me make one thing clear; these feelings are in no way bigger than the two of us, it's super important you remember this part because you'll grow through it until you find that little bit of strength. When you do, latch onto with everything you've got.
“Them Not So Bad Months”
Chapter 3:
You should be seeing a slight shift when you enter into the months, post-break-up. That is if you're not still choosing to remain in a state of total despair. I get it; you are going to have those days.
What I need you to do for me is to find your sunset, and not choose the darkest part of yourself. This kind of behaviour will only ever inspire more suffering and heartbreak.
Ultimately you will always be your responsibility; you've just got to get things moving in the right direction. So you take you back and run like hell.
I'm not here to teach you how to suck eggs; you're grown, and there will be no list of all the fantastic things you can do to get over the boy.
You know very well your habits and interests, dip into them and try keeping yourself busy. A productive brain is a definite promise for present and future happiness.
Foolish Rebounds & Flings
You know where I'm going to go with this, don't you? Something meaningless to put a pause on that pain. HELL NO! This part is not even up for discussion. If you looked up uncool in the dictionary this very second, there would be a tiny little drawing of what's happening right now.
All this ever proves is that it's a selfish move to make and weak!
That attention you so desperately seek out, to make you feel all secure for a time, is the same weakness you felt when they left you. Would I be well within my rights then, to call you weak? The fact that you moved on so quickly, into another relationship doesn't make it ok either.
You're going to be taking with you a shit load of baggage. Un-necessary, not needed effects, that are going to need unpacking, to then go and take up all that dam space in your next relationship.
Maybe your not used to being on the receiving end of solid advice. Trust me; you will lose yourself. Damage attracts damage, and healthy people attract healthy people.
If you're mad at me for being brutally honest with you, chastise me when you have successfully made it through that day.
THOSE YEARS
“I Maybe Missing You”
Chapter 4:
Let's all agree to never spare a thought for our ex's again, like ever!
If only this could be true for us all. I'll admit the truth, I waited. I waited for that much-needed explanation. I waited for the apology or the words "I still love you." I waited for closure for years, but it didn't come.
Sometimes your closure is the only closure you need.
If you've found yourself in the "year's zone" or perhaps just under, maybe it's time to move into that other realm, and look for someone new. There's no rush, take all the time you need to figure out what you want in and out of a brand new relationship.
Start filling your head with the good stuff and assert yourself with the positives; because your life is much more than the salvation of this once long-ago love affair. Forgive yourself from self-blame; you didn't let you down; you just grew up.
There's no one living or dead that can offer up an actual expiry date for when you'll mentally be free of them, that's not how it works. It takes has long as it is necessary until that day comes when you're ready for release.
The only thing that kept me in check at the time was re-affirming to myself why I was so out of this boys league, and when needed, yes I focused on some petty shit, all his seven different kinds of wrong. So be petty if that's what it takes to get him out of your system. Keep thinking of you. Leave him behind and carry on.
THEN ONE DAY...
For when you decide to take back your life I've come up with millions of future possibilities, all extremely mushy and way to gross like meeting that someone one day, with those Romance Novel eyes. Somebody you'll click with, and you'll understand the difference.
Get ready for that day to arrive, and when it does, inviting him in is mandatory, because you are sure as hell-deserving of this.
“In the meanwhile, keep loving yourself. Always and forever, until forever ends.”